


A Little Reinvention

by smallxion



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sexual Humor, dear evan hansen au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 04:51:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallxion/pseuds/smallxion
Summary: “Okay, okay, calm down.” Xion placed her hands on Roxas’ shoulders. “We’ll work this out, okay? I’ll do it. When do we need this for?”“Um. I’m invited for dinner again tomorrow.”Xion gritted her teeth. “Twenty-four hours,” she breathed. “Welp. We’d better get started.”





	A Little Reinvention

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. It's 3AM. I'm listening to Sincerely, Me on loop. So have a short thing from a Dear Evan Hansen AU where Axel is Connor, Roxas is Evan and Xion is Jared.
> 
> It's supposed to be funny. It isn't.

“So let me get this straight,” Xion said, hands on her hips. “You want my help to create backdated e-mails between you and the guy who literally just killed himself. And you’re also trying to convince me that’s not in awful taste.”

Roxas rubbed his hands over the back of his neck. “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask…”

 _“A lot to ask_ doesn’t even begin to cover it,” she said with a sharp, short laugh. “My God, Roxas, what the hell’s going on?”

“I…I panicked, alright?” He rested his hands on his knees. “His mom was crying all over the place, look, Xi, she thought Axel’s last words were addressed to me, alright?” His voice was slowly but steadily climbing in pitch. “I couldn’t tell her it was all a big mix-up. I just couldn’t, I mean, that’s her _kid’s last words.”_

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Xion placed her hands on Roxas’ shoulders. “We’ll work this out, okay? I’ll do it. When do we need this for?”

“Um. I’m invited for dinner again tomorrow.”

Xion gritted her teeth. “Twenty-four hours,” she breathed. “Welp. We’d better get started.”

-

With a huff, Axel burst through the door to his room, slamming it behind him as a “fuck you” to his parents. He considered getting high. His mom hated that, great idea. But…he remembered his promise to Roxas. With a bit of a defeated smile, he took a deep breath and grabbed his laptop. He lay back on his bed and opened the computer, then logged onto his g-mail and hit “compose”.

_Dear Roxas,_

_How’s it going, man? I’ve missed you. I’m remembering what you said about not taking drugs, so don’t worry about it. I’ll be honest, it’s tough without you, but it’s not like we can talk at school. I have a rep to keep on top of, y’know? The others would tear me apart. Sorry, LOL._

_I have to tell you, that last selfie on Instagram was really good. The filter really highlighted your eyes. I could hardly control myself when I saw that, y’know? You’re just so cute. The speed with which my erection popped up, oh boy. So that picture’s essentially been my entire Wank Bank for the past couple weeks. Every night I touch myself, imagining my long and tender meat wand slipping right into your tight—_

-

“Please take this seriously,” Roxas groaned, covering his face in his hands.

Xion was in a giggling fit. “Okay, okay! Sorry. I just couldn’t resist! It’s too funny!” She laughed for another solid minute before finally erasing that last paragraph.

“What do you actually want it to say?” Xion asked.

Roxas shrugged. “It needs to be convincing. It needs to look like we were like, really close. Me-and-you close.”

Xion ‘hmm’ed and furrowed her brow. “How about…”

-

_I can confide in you, right? Something’s been really weird lately…down there. I don’t know, is erectile dysfunction really a thing in young people? You never really hear about it. I guess it’s one of those things though, right? Like breast cancer in men—it exists, it’s just not super well-known. But yeah, whenever I get hard it lasts like, thirty seconds. Unless I’m scrolling through your Instagram, Roxas. Then I’m hard all night._

-

Roxas glared at his friend. “Not that close.”

“Well, what do you want from me?” Xion was still in fits of laughter, and threw her hands up in the air.

He took his chance and grabbed the laptop. “Let me try, from the top.”

-

Axel’s room was dimly-lit and messy. He never had the motivation to clean the damn place, and the darkness was comforting…it matched his soul. He entered and went to grab his laptop—he had an e-mail to write to his best friend.

_Dear Roxas,_

_I’ve been thinking a lot about that day. It was a moment of respite in my otherwise miserable life. You know, how we sat and ate sea-salt ice cream under the clock tower? It really reminded me of better times, of being a little kid and believing in everything. Now I only believe in you._

_It’s not been great lately. I’ve been taking a drug every day. Sometimes it’s pot, sometimes it’s something more than that. I miss talking to you. That’s like a drug in itself, except there’s no crash afterwards, just a warm afterglow, like after a day in the sun. You are my sun, Roxas._

_­­_ -

Xion peered closely at the screen. “I have many comments.”

“It’s better than yours, at least,” Roxas scoffed.

“Well, I mean, first of all, you don’t take ‘a drug’,” Xion said, shaking her head. “And…God, ‘afterglow’? Geez, Roxas, how much sex do you want them to think you had with their son?”

“Oh, and yours was better for that?”

Xion shrugged. “Mine was a joke. If this is seriously the best you can offer, I’d best take the laptop back right now.”

-

_Dear Roxas,_

_It’s been a while since we’ve talked. Sorry about that. You really are my best friend, it’s just that sometimes life gets in the way, and it’s not like we can talk in school._

_My parents have been on my back all the time lately and I know that I should just stop with the weed, but I don’t know what I’d do without it. I’ve tried your suggestions; none of them really worked for me. Thanks for trying though, bud._

_Hoping to share ice cream with you again soon,_

_Axel_

-

“See?” She tapped the screen and looked haughtily at Roxas. “Short and sweet. That’s all we need.”

Roxas squinted at the screen. “You really think Axel would know how to use a semicolon?”

“I don’t even know if _I_ used that thing correctly, but if it’s wrong it probably adds to the effect.” Her stomach rumbled. “Roxas, are we done yet? I’m hungry.”

He shook his head. “We need more. I can’t just give them one e-mail, Xi.”

“Fiiiiiiiiiiine,” she said. “Alright. How about we write one of your responses?”

-

_Dear Axel,_

_I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling, but drugs still aren’t the right answer. When I feel bad, I touch soft things. You should try it, the texture’s really comforting!_

-

Xion almost choked at that. “Touch something soft, like his dysfunctional penis.”

Roxas just elbowed her in the side.

-

_Dear Axel,_

_I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling, but drugs still aren’t the right answer. When I feel bad, I try talking it out with someone. I’m always here if you wanna vent!_

_You’ve made it this far, man, and that counts for a lot. You can keep going. And I’ll always be right here cheering you on._

_If it’s ice cream you want, how about this weekend? You can wait somewhere out of sight, I’ll buy the ice cream and bring it to you. Then no-one has to see us together._

_Miss you,_

_Roxas_

-

Xion gave a mock-sniffle and wiped away imaginary tears. “Ah, the forlorn beauty of forbidden love.”

-

_Dear Roxas,_

_You sound like a shrink, man! Haha. Ice cream sounds great. Make sure it’s sea salt flavour! We can sit under a tree or something and catch up. It’ll be great. As much as I love your e-mails, it can’t really replace actually hearing your voice._

_We’ve been talking about me a lot, huh? How’s it being you at the moment? You still believing in yourself? I hope you are. You can do great things._

_Thinking of you,_

_Axel_

-

By the time they had what Roxas deemed a satisfactory amount of fake e-mails, it was half past three in the morning.

Xion had gone down to the kitchen plenty of times for snacks and was currently on the foot of the bed, covered in chocolate bar wrappers and empty packets of chips. “We’re done now, right?” she said, an almost begging tone to her voice. “I can sleep now…right?”

“As soon as they’re printed out, yep,” Roxas said. “And Xi…thanks for helping.”

She looked at him. “I’ll be surprised if they buy this. Neither of us can write Axel for shit.”

“I know,” he said nervously. “But thanks anyway.”

“No problem. But I still think we should add something about his penis. I mean, who would lie about that?”

Roxas looked into an imaginary camera like he was on The Office.


End file.
